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Posted @ 6/12/2007 10:48:12 AM
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Posted @ 2/28/2007 5:34:00 PM
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Posted @ 2/8/2007 1:11:21 AM
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Posted @ 1/4/2007 3:34:03 PM
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Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #101 - No Blood for Corn! on 5/9/2008 3:44:30 AM
I say we use a$$hole motorists (finely diced, of course) as an alternate fuel source. Not only are there a plethora of them out there (I'm looking in your direction Ohio and New York) but it'll make my life so much more stress-free for the morning commute.

Vicki never even looked back as she walked out of my gin-laden memories, hotwired my Cadillac heart and left me stranded thinking of Wyn Jr's obviously inherited mutual poor taste in acquaintances.

Wynsight
3:43am
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #60 - Your Captions, Your Contest on 8/1/2007 1:11:59 PM
Well, since Corbo decided to vote, I guess I will too.

3. Topdollar (ugh) - With America's shuttle fleet retiring, NASA scientists attempt a dry run of George Bush's new plan to get supplies up to the International Space Station.

2. SushiK - And that's where baby fork lifts come from.

1. Zambon1man - If you think this is impressive, you should see them change a light bulb.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #60 - Your Captions, Your Contest on 7/30/2007 3:14:17 PM
Okie guys... the community judging for the Contest starts now. List your choices for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place below.









You can only make your selections once and only pick one user per entry, so you'll need to have three different people in your choices. Picks will be tabulated after 3PM EST on Wednesday.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #60 - Your Captions, Your Contest on 7/26/2007 4:39:36 PM
Wynsight tries out the "Stoomba", the Roomba knock-off developed by RomeDawg and the rest of Stootsi's engineering department. Stoomba is like a Roomba except it also changes light bulbs.

And we have 11,000 of them that we're waiting to unleash on the world so we too can be the butt of jokes that rhyme with "oomba".
Comment made about Article: All I Have to Offer is my W(h)ining on 7/24/2007 12:29:18 PM
Heh, we're never short on opinions. We're short of time in the day. Unfortunately, we have a stack of to-do's, and expressing our opinions in writing falls at the bottom of the stack most days.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #59 - Sloganize Your Favorite Website on 7/18/2007 2:42:05 PM
www.sexinthecity.com

"The story of an old hag and her three whorish daughters."
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #59 - Sloganize Your Favorite Website on 7/18/2007 12:34:16 PM
And the hallucinations right before I fall asleep without warning normally involve lepherchauns toting six-shooters and technicolor Dippin' Dots raining from the sky. The Rainbow Ice Dippin' Dots, obviously, not those horrible Cookies 'N Cream ones.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #59 - Sloganize Your Favorite Website on 7/18/2007 12:32:39 PM
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION ABOUT MIRAPEX: MIRAPEX may cause you to fall asleep without any warning, even while doing normal daily activities such as driving. When taking MIRAPEX hallucinations may occur and sometimes you may feel dizzy, sweaty or nauseated upon standing up. The most common side effects in clinical trials for RLS were nausea, headache, and tiredness. You should talk with your doctor if you experience these problems.

Patients and caregivers should be informed that impulse control disorders/compulsive behaviors may occur while taking medicines, including pramipexole, to treat Parkinson's disease and RLS.


The reason I use and endorse Mirapex is solely for the reason that I can fall asleep without warning, even while driving a car. I find that it really makes the commute to and from work much more enjoyable and exciting.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #59 - Sloganize Your Favorite Website on 7/18/2007 10:15:45 AM
www.visitPA.com

"Ummm... why? Did collecting stamps get too exciting for you?"
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #58 - Hot Dogs Anyone? on 7/16/2007 5:23:23 PM
An Iraqi mustache parade would be outstanding. They can 'stache with the best of them.

And with topdollar's pension for 80s porn, does that mean he's paying into the porn pension fund or getting money for services rendered?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #58 - Hot Dogs Anyone? on 7/16/2007 4:48:08 PM
George Washington wouldn't have sank if he tried to cross the Delaware River without a boat. At worst, he would have forded the river, possibly losing three sets of clothes, two oxen, an axel and 350 rounds of ammunition. He learned his lessons whenever he helped blaze the Oregon Trail in 1672.

He would have been the first to make it across if the great latino-american Rosa Parks wasn't so stubborn and refused to help build the Transcontinental Railroad. Although without her bravery, we never would have found out about electricity or the phonograph.

I'm going to have to agree with topdollar for the most part however, if you guys would just do a little research, this whole thread would be rendered rather moot.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #56 - What Do You Want on Your Tombstone? on 6/25/2007 3:48:16 PM
And obviously, he lost.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #55 - Jungle Survival on 6/25/2007 12:46:58 PM
1. Victoria Beckham
2. David Beckham
3. A small, unregistered handgun containing just one bullet.

I'm not really going to explain this one too much for fear of the consequences of premeditated murder.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #55 - Jungle Survival on 6/22/2007 3:29:45 PM
... and so ends the story of topdollar's brief tryst with Burlesque dancing.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #54 - Winners on 6/19/2007 5:59:41 PM
and by sexual variety, topdollar means an intense and utter hatred bordering on uncontrollable rage.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #54 - Winners on 6/19/2007 12:11:02 PM
Ooooh, you want to date *your* sister now that you're in the family. I was thinkin' that you'd wanna date ours.

Hey, this is America, do your worst, to each his own, one man's trash is another man's treasure and all those other annoying cliches.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #54 - Winners on 6/19/2007 12:08:59 PM
Well... the sisters are a little sketchy... you might want to start with mothers and work your way younger from there.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #54 - Winners on 6/19/2007 11:12:24 AM
Hah! This is how we treat our family, too, man. We're just bringin' ya into the fold. :D
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #54 - Contribution for Both Merriam and Webster on 6/18/2007 12:56:40 PM
that is the worst entry ever, Zambon1.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #54 - Contribution for Both Merriam and Webster on 6/18/2007 12:48:07 PM
Aw crap, I just read over flamtap's statement that I'm longer the LPWMOFDOTDU. Dammit... it's been three months already?

This is bogus. Dare I say, this is malitrosh.
Comment made about Article: The Thirteen Sports Things I've Learned in June on 6/15/2007 12:07:54 PM
That is an absolutely stellar point. But I refuse to stoop to the CHEEZ DOODLE level.

The NEW YORK Knicks are TERRABUL. Ugh...it makes me queezy to even say that much.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #54 - Contribution for Both Merriam and Webster on 6/11/2007 3:37:36 PM
So what you're saying is that malitrosh would be to make up definitions for fakes words via the internet and do it poorly.

It's amazing how art can imitate life, topdolor. Very amazing indeed.
Comment made about BlogPost: Helium Girl on 6/8/2007 12:08:51 PM
Oh, and I've been wanting to state this fact:

Anyone who brings moonpies for the bride and groom on their wedding day is just about the coolest cat to ever grace this green Earth. Moonpies are like manna from the Gods.

Only we're not Roman/Greek/Norse. And manna was sorta mythical. And not made in Kentucky.
Comment made about BlogPost: Helium Girl on 6/8/2007 12:06:14 PM
He's going to end up in the shower by the end of the night, fully clothed and sobbing like a schoolgirl.

It's going to be glorious for both his friends that told him to not talk to the Helium "chick" and for his therapist.
Comment made about BlogPost: Helium Girl on 6/5/2007 5:18:48 PM
She kind of looks like a constipated female pixie with disturbing indications of premature male pattern baldness.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #52 - Winners on 6/5/2007 11:45:06 AM
I'm pretty sure he'll give ya a hug if you want it.
Comment made about Article: Everything I Needed to Know I Learned by Opening a Socket to CTU on 5/24/2007 12:25:49 PM
I learned that being 5'3" doesn't hinder you from becoming a national badass, but it does seriously dampen the possibility of being a 6'2" co-star.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #50 - The Construction Industry's Finest on 5/16/2007 12:43:52 PM
I believe that would be more along the lines of a full-birth abortion.

And yes, in many situations, we (read:I) support this.
Comment made about Article: Suns Win, Ronaldo Is Proud Of Nash on 5/15/2007 4:05:53 PM
Nash going 100 MPH around Big Shot Blob and you have the gall to say that he *flopped* whenever Horry took two sidesteps into him with his hipcheck?

Pretty soon I'm going to be hearing arguments about how Kobe's natural shooting stroke involves a nasty elbow reflex downwards (into the orbital bone) whenever being guarded by European 3's.

Oh, and how being the sixth grade triple jump champion means that "you've won at life"...can't forget that argument.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #49 - Guess the Admin Pop Quiz on 5/9/2007 9:50:38 AM
For a struggling alcoholic such as yourself, I would figure that you'd be able to take those 15's a lot better than you are apparently doing.
Comment made about Article: I've got a Fever on 5/7/2007 12:06:38 PM
Yeah, I got another fix for your fever.

Watch the Succos play in May when they're already 7 1/2 games out of the division lead.
Comment made about Article: Why Men Love Golf on 5/1/2007 9:22:52 AM
gyn·e·co·mas·ti·a - noun - abnormal enlargement of the breast in a male.

"John Daly's advanced gynecomastia hasn't had adverse effects on his long drives, but it has caused him considerable problems when looking for a 56DDD sports bra."
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #46 - Give Us a Caption on 4/17/2007 12:53:41 PM
VeteranCharacterActor -

Too soon.
Comment made about Article: I've got a Fever on 4/5/2007 12:25:04 PM
I'd like Pittsburgh's chances in a seven game series against A-Rod and Giambi.

I'll take the Pirates in 6.
Comment made about Article: I've got a Fever on 4/4/2007 3:43:22 PM
Allow me to address your "other questions":

*No, but 125 is within the realm of possibility
*McClatchy sold his soul long before he bought the Bucs. The last 12 years have been Satan's joke on Pittsburgh.
*Mario can do no wrong and there's nothing he can't save.
*No, but I'm pretty damn sure he's better than Chris Duffy in center field.
*Mark Madden is orca fat.
*I heard rumors that Kordell is, in fact, straight. The pear sized growth on his neck, however, has been known to go both ways.
*Schenley Park is a bad, bad place. That's where dreams go to die.
*After his 10+K outing yesterday, I'm going to say unequovicably.... maybe.
*No. PNC Park vendors are horrendous.
*Bonds isn't going to need to wear a helmet at PNC Park this year because he'll blow out both knees and his giant cranium will collapse due to a lack of structual integrity by April 30th and be placed on the DL for the rest of the year.
*I'm not even sure Bobby Bonilla can tie his own shoes now due to weight and tendonitis. But neither can Pippen. So yes, he can pull a Scottie.
*AVS 4 Prez 2014.
*Only if Randall Simon comes back. For the record, Sauerkraut Sal is a pansyass.
*Laroche is currently 0-8 with 5 strikeouts. With a record like that, he'd fit right in with every president we've had since 1976.
*Coors Light is colored water. Scientists have confirmed this fact multiple times.
*I think Canadians are banking more on Steve Nash and Sid the Kid than J-Bay. I would too.
*Pittsburgh ladies are the classiest group of women around. Nothing will stop them from wearing the Bon Jovi cutoff t-shirts and stonewashed pants. Pink plays no part of their ensemble.
*I don't know. But I bet it'd be really fun if we did.
Comment made about Article: A Convenient Truth on 4/4/2007 1:09:12 PM
Yes, it was definitely the clear water of San Fran that gave Bonds the power to cream homeruns. He claims everything is due to conditioning and flaxseed oil. Hogwash, I'm saying its his balanced breakfast with a nice big tall glass of juice on the side.

And HGH.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #43 - Impress Me! on 3/29/2007 6:43:38 PM
...Chuck Norris? ...is that you??
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #43 - Impress Me! on 3/26/2007 4:17:47 PM
So with no other choices possible, I drove the hunting knife into the jaguar's eye and picked up my five nephews and ran for the aborigine village. Needless to say, we're all alive today.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #42 - Sweet Sixteen Total Point Pick 'Em on 3/21/2007 1:14:58 PM
If that theory actually works out for you, color me impressed.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #42 - Sweet Sixteen Total Point Pick 'Em on 3/21/2007 11:24:39 AM
So you're saying that if I entered 2,439 as my entry, I wouldn't even be close?

Oh, and I'm surprised it took almost a day to get 1337 in as a submission. And you people call yourself computer nerds. h4x0rz around the world scoff in your general direction.
Comment made about BlogPost: Canadian Legal Supergroup on 3/20/2007 12:06:58 PM
I'd be either going with the Emerson, Lake and Palmer firm or winging it on my own. I hear Bachman stutters and I just don't want someone like that representing me.
Comment made about BlogPost: Impress Me! on 3/16/2007 4:18:34 PM
"Seriously, I *AM* an admin on Stootsi.com. Why can't you believe that?"
Comment made about BlogPost: NCAA Tournament Challenge on 3/15/2007 11:14:36 AM
Ok. So the tournament field is set for us -- looks like there's 131 people that got a bracket turned in on time.

Best of luck to everyone!
Comment made about BlogPost: Impress Me! on 3/15/2007 10:44:32 AM
If I were trying to go for a quick, brilliant, and respect-earning first impression, I'd rather throw out a line like..

"Hunting werewolves is only my part-time job. I'm a roadie for REO Speedwagon during most of the year."

It takes 4 seconds and earns you a lifetime of respect.
Comment made about BlogPost: NCAA Tournament Challenge on 3/15/2007 10:04:03 AM
Okay, the last round of invites are out.

As a side note -- all of you people that have Yahoo mail... GET A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS WITH A DECENT SERVICE. Almost everyone who "didn't get an invite" has Yahoo as an email provider.

We're not trying to neglect anyone, or purposefully leave anyone out. If you wanted in, you got an invite. Don't be hatin' on the Stootsi, be hating on Yahoo and their crappy email interface/spam blockers.
Comment made about BlogPost: NCAA Tournament Challenge on 3/15/2007 9:25:56 AM
Okay, invites are out up through adrenaline.

Last round of invites will happen at 10AM EST sharp.
Comment made about BlogPost: NCAA Tournament Challenge on 3/14/2007 6:43:55 PM
Anyone who requested an invite before this post -- check your inbox. All invites up thru 6:40PM EST have been sent out.

I will be back in tomorrow morning by 9AM EST at the latest to send out the 2nd to last round of invites.

Final sending of invites will happen at 10AM EST. Any request to join the Contest after 10AM will be ignored.

Sportsline.com requires that all brackets be completed by 11AM EST, one hour prior to the tipoff of the first game.
Comment made about Article: March: Sports Golden Era on 3/14/2007 2:29:47 PM
All I know is that I feel bad for anyone named Jeremy or Jeremiah that wasn't born in WV.

To all of you which this applies, I'm so sorry for your infamous association.
Comment made about BlogPost: NCAA Tournament Challenge on 3/14/2007 2:17:31 PM
If you've posted on this blog by 1:00PM EST on 3/14 (Wednesday), the invites have been sent.

I confirmed that one went out to you specifically umcthomas at the email address you have in your Stootsi profile.

For everyone who hasn't received an invite, please check your spam folders on your email accounts.
Comment made about Article: March: Sports Golden Era on 3/14/2007 2:01:08 PM
"back in high school, all the southern wv baseball players were named jeremy or jeremiah, so i just went with it. "

....he plays basketball, not baseball. So any athlete that plays a sport that starts with "b" and that's remotely associated with West Virginia means that their first names are either Jeremy or Jeremiah.

Now I realize why baseball and basketball players put their last names, and not their first, on their jerseys.
Comment made about Article: March: Sports Golden Era on 3/14/2007 11:52:43 AM
It's Kevin Pittsnogle, and he's a budding CBA superstar for the 9-34 Pittsburgh Xplosion, thank you very much.

Apparently you haven't followed WVU Mountaineer basketball over the last few years.
Comment made about Article: March: Sports Golden Era on 3/14/2007 10:04:14 AM
juniorkode --

I didn't take you for football-only type of guy. That's a shame... here I had you pegged for a person that can appreciate tournaments/playoffs regardless of the sport.

Guess I was wrong, again.
Comment made about Article: The Hypocrisy Just Warms Your Heart Earth on 3/8/2007 5:34:27 PM
And here I thought my constant dissertations which merely informed you of your incorrect opinions were met with open arms and an open mind. Apparently I was wrong.

-Wyndbag.
Comment made about Article: The Hypocrisy Just Warms Your Heart Earth on 3/6/2007 9:26:04 AM
Apparently you can't "read between the lines" VCA.

His solution isn't to visit sideshow freaks on a whirlwind cross-country adventure. It's clearly to focus on moving to Montana, getting a few hundred head of cattle, and really exploring the positive aspects of alternative lifestyles.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/1/2007 2:44:42 PM
td-

You are obviously underestimating my vast reservoir of skeptisism for almost every aspect of society.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/1/2007 2:00:35 PM
And iluvstootsi, apparently you love "24" as well, and I'm sure you don't go killing Chinese terrorists or save the world on a daily basis either.

I don't believe at any point I equated "Steelers fan" with "imbecile". Quite a leap of definition there.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/1/2007 1:57:19 PM
I never said I HATED football and Lord knows I'm camped on my couch every Sunday (ask the g/f) watching it. I know it's history, it's players and it's rules as well as anyone. In fact, I try to make it a point to watch the Steelers on the weekends. I won't go out of my way to do it, but I try nonetheless. BUT I don't make football my life, unlike a lot of the yokels around here. I'm sure Dallas is the same way, but maybe even a little more obnoxious about it (even I can't escape the Oakland/Dallas/Cleveland hatred that Pittsburghers garner towards these cities solely based on their football teams).

All I'm saying is that I'm in the group of people who are going to see the Stillers as cheaters now, based on one of their physcians having copious amounts of illegally purchased steroids and HGH. And even more importantly, the overzealous, ill-educated Steelers apologists that are going to fly out of the woodwork is going to irritate me immensely. In fact, on the way home from work last nite, the barrage of bile spewing from their illiterate mouths already flooded the airwaves on the local sport shock jock's radio program.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/1/2007 12:25:34 AM
And now you can start to see why we call Corbo "the Yinzer Supreme".

Sorry for calling you and your Stillers out like that, chief. Totally my bad.
Comment made about Link: Spice World 2, please say its in the works on 2/28/2007 2:30:35 PM
MY SWEET POSH IS GOING TO BE SINGING AGAIN. I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MY CAPS-ENDUCING EXCITEMENT.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/28/2007 12:08:57 PM
Dont mind T.L. He's just coming down from his paint stripper/Anna Benson daily morning high. He gets like that sometimes.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/28/2007 11:45:38 AM
Shattered home lives, chemical dependencies on ethanol, nicotine and sometimes industrial strength paint stripper, and intense fondness for George Carlin, Bill Nye and Anna Benson lead us down the dilapadated road of "witty literacy" on which we at Stootsi now travel.
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/27/2007 1:51:39 PM
Hah, I was hoping to get an educated soccer response out of someone on here. (BTW, welcome back to the site.)

Funny you should mention European women. I've been dating a lovely European for the last 3+ years and I'm completely crazy about her. However, I DO have disdain for certain western European locales, and I'm not shy about it. Do I hate all of Europe? Sure don't. Barcelona was by far one of my favorite vacation destination ever, and I look forward to heading back there and eventually to Madrid, Dublin/Cork, all over Italy and Split/Dbrovnik. So please, spare me the xenophobic label. My g/f would be testament to the fact that I'm surprisingly pro-some-of-Europe. :D

Now onto the soccer aspect. The United States is where aging world class footballers go to die, and we're now going onto the third generation of that concept. Beckham, if having drawn interest from any Italian, Engish or Spanish teams (I may go as far as to say even a German powerhouse like Bayern or Levenkusen) offering similar amounts of money, he'd rather go there. UNLESS there's the added benefit of bringing his dashing good looks to a market rife with money for ppl with good looks. Free kicks are great, and trust me, thats the only reason Alessandro Del Piero still even comes close to putting on the Azzurri blue. And other than PKs, bikes, and scissor kicks, free kicks are what fascinate American audiences. Maybe that's what they're thinking when they're signing him to a contract the equivalent of the GNP of Micronesia.

Either way, Beckham is going to go on his whirlwind tour, and then the country will go back into it's soccer malaise because David "Corbo" Beckham is not what we need right now.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/26/2007 2:15:01 AM
Whoa...where the hell did that come from?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #38 - The Battle Royale of the Bands on 2/20/2007 10:06:29 AM
I'm split between either the 5.6.7.8s or Bob Marley.

I guess it just depends if I feel like placing money on a whole bunch of over-zealous gun-toting Yakuza or a whole bunch of over-zealous gun-toting Rastafarian Birdies.

I think I'm going for the the Bob Marley and the Wailers feat. the Birdies, cause I've seen Kill Bill, and one pretty blonde american kicked the crap out of 88 Yakuza wannabes. I could only imagine what Jethro Tull and their 87 members would do to those little Tokyo roses.
Comment made about BlogPost: It's Called SNOW. It Happens From Time to Time. on 2/15/2007 3:52:32 PM
For the record, Tim Hardaway is not a fan of either of you two.
Comment made about BlogPost: It's Called SNOW. It Happens From Time to Time. on 2/15/2007 2:56:54 PM
You are either Al Gore or a Honda employee. Either way, you, sir, are not welcome here.

But thank you for the internet or an amazing business management strategy, respective to which person you are.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #37 - You (and three items) Vs. a Homicidal Robot on 2/15/2007 12:45:43 PM
I'm assuming that there's someone out there that wasn't hugged enough as a kid and is taking it out on everyone else. It's OK; they'll eventually get hit by a bus (or something else karmatastic like that) and everything will be right in the world again.
Comment made about Link: Stop or my mom's mom will shoot on 2/9/2007 12:58:26 PM
Holy crap. I'm convinced that grandmothers are gifted with certain powers that'll manipulate the dumbest of people. Thank God that Hitler and Dane Cook aren't grandmas or history would not be the same as it is today.
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/8/2007 5:16:05 PM
"Why for must you hate Western Europe?" - jabuka

Correct me if I'm wrong, but France is in Western Europe, right?

For the record, Eastern Europeans are about the sexiest things under the sun. Or just about the ugliest...there really is no in between. If you see an average woman walking down there street, there's only one thing you can be sure of -- she's not from the Communist side of the continent.
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/8/2007 12:15:02 PM
Maybe you're not grasping the concept of this my dear Two.Lincolns.

By stating that "a metrosexual, English has-been [will be] paraded around in every major US metropolitan area" is showing that this is a publicity stunt. A publicity stunt that's taking a beautiful, marketable person that has severely diminished skills (as exibited by his ability to crack Spanish Liga juggernaut Real Madrid's starting lineup only 5 times out of 25 fixtures this season) is what this is. And it's being marketed to the wrong audience. Children and latinos are were the growth in this country is going to be found in soccer; the point that was made in the first paragraph. This group needs heroes with South American ancestory and/or youth. A 32 year old Zoolander isn't going to cut it.

While it's obvious that you're primary focus is finding homo-erotic innuendos in the article, the content of this blog is but to state that if you're hiring an American Idol agent over a credible sports agent, you're in this country for the wrong (unless you just plan on making money hand over fist) reasons.
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/8/2007 9:43:40 AM
Actually, the purpose of the entire article is to prove that Beckham has nothing to offer soccer except his looks. You only need one soccer-related reason to summerize "its ire". The mindset of the move obviously isn't sports related. God, do I have to explain everything to you, or are you going to finally go to the community college and take Deductive Reasoning 101?
Comment made about Link: Fashion Crisis! on 2/7/2007 1:04:37 PM
"It's too dangerous," said Nicole Lake of Jersey City. "Drivers don't pay attention and pedestrians don't pay attention."

Apparently the only person that she thinks that pays attention is herself. And she's a woman. From Jersey. I'm pretty sure that would make her an authority on just about everything in life.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #35 - Your Ingenious Caption! on 1/29/2007 5:28:02 PM
And here we have the 2017 Stootsi Intern of the Year (pictured, center sitting).

Just as a sidenote, after the kid got his monstrous dome stuck in the chair, does he really think sucking on a lollipop is going to help get him out? I mean, I doubt he had the sucker in his mouth whenever he crisco'd his way through that hole. He would had to have been like "Well $*%#, there's no way I can get out of this, I might as well just enjoy this delicious blueberry-vanilla Creamsaver lollipop and think about why grass doesn't taste like lime jello."
Comment made about Article: Semi-thankful Ramblings on 1/25/2007 10:56:07 AM
I'm sorry jk, I was a little negligent in that regards. In honor, I'm koding right now, and it's delicious.
Comment made about Article: Semi-thankful Ramblings on 1/24/2007 3:28:26 PM
Sorry man, as Johnny Cougar would say, "This is our country", but the fact of the matter is that Asia makes better saki, sushi, Sonatas, and stereos.
Comment made about Article: Semi-thankful Ramblings on 1/24/2007 2:43:24 PM
You sir, are definitely getting a 1 star rating. And SAS is noone's saving grace. Ever.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #33 - Your Greatest Invention on 1/17/2007 1:12:39 PM
"wynsight, sorry toyota just came out with a car that can parallel park itself."

Ugh, must my majestic sarcasm be lost on everyone?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #33 - Your Greatest Invention on 1/16/2007 5:24:56 PM
I censored no such comments... I'm too busy *working* to read your trite babble.

juniorkode, I'm going to try to create a car that can parallel park itself. Whenever I come up with something, maybe we can team up.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #32 - Winners on 1/16/2007 1:18:17 PM
I gotta say that I *almost* agree with infinitecat on this one. However, as being part of the panel that does the judging, we *are* looking for original and creative ideas. To use an overused concept, think of the contest headings as guidelines instead of rules. We're encouraging odd takes on the proposed contest ideas, so things like swurple's entourage trio are refreshing.

And for the record, if we're ignoring rules, pandering to our whims, and changing things around to fit our needs, I'm pretty should that you should have said, "How very Democrat of you". :D
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #32 - Your Fictional Three Person Entourage on 1/10/2007 12:19:43 PM
I think I'd go for a little Warren Zevon "Lawyers, Guns, and Money" entourage, if I really had to choose. There's really nothing in life that you can't fix with at least one of those three.

1. Lawyer - Johnny Cochran, ready to throw out the Chewbacca Defense if anything heinous should happen. "This here is an eight foot, hairy Wookie..."

2. Guns - Quday Hussein - This guy had an arsenal. And a harem. And he killed Olympians that ended up shaming Iraq's image in any of the Summer Games. I hear he also had an electric personality and the charm of a cute, elderly grandmother. He's in.

3. Money - Oprah - She's got cash. Lots of it. Anytime that we would walk into a bar, I can imagine her hiding little boxes of goodies under everyone's bar stools, and then making the announcement that some of the boxes contain roundtrip airfare to Puerto Vallarta or something. Everyone will love us and shower us with free drinks and shoulder massages. It will be glorious.

Then Quday will randomly shoot up the place, killing at least 4 and torturing 7 others, and Johnny will get us off the hook, scott free. Life doesn't get much better than that, folks.
Comment made about Article: Cannibalistic Hollywood Starlet Waifs on 1/5/2007 1:01:28 PM
iluvstootsi said:

"...I talk about them and am pretty darn funny in my post- i get nothing..."

"Funny" is deemed by others, not yourself. If you're laughing, and noone else is, chances are its really not that humorous. I know, I know...sometimes the truth is a bitter bitter pill to swallow.

jabuka said:

"Where is this cannibalistic picture you speak of Wynsight?"

How bout the one on the right? Ya know...it's that one with the strung-out crack-whorish looking girl trying to gnaw through the leg muscles of a hooker. That's our dear sweet Michelle, believe it or not. Mr Paparazzi wouldn't lie to us.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #31 - Your Impossible New Year's Resolution on 1/3/2007 9:12:25 AM
airxxi says:

My New Years Resolution is to stop trying to win Stootsi contests, because I know I never will. There's @**holes like coryj with his T3 connection that I can't compete with, plus the mothertruckers who judge these stupid contests are cheap bastards who sell crappy shizzle. Now this may seem like a copy of the last winners rant, but it's not, because I'm not trying to win. This will be my last post on the Stootsi board, because I know I'll never win. So go ahead and pass me up and pick some loser who spent 3 hours formulating his answer, you'll never hear from me again. @**holes.

Reposted with the FCC's approval. Enjoy.
Comment made about BlogPost: Butt-sniffing Dogs and Their Idiot Owners on 1/2/2007 10:26:39 AM
I hate you Two.Lincolns. I hate you.
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/29/2006 5:04:39 PM
The current iteration of REO has both Bryan Hitt (who rocked out with Wang Chung) and Dave Amato (who played with Ted Nugent and Richie Sambora). There we go, that's all we need for current-day SUPERGROUP status.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi's Playstation 3 Giveaway on 12/29/2006 9:33:26 AM
And you want that to be your entry joelw23? heh
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/28/2006 12:08:48 PM
I will never do such a thing. Both of those SUPERGROUPS will live forever in rock history's Greatest Bands EVER section.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi's Playstation 3 Giveaway on 12/28/2006 12:05:07 PM
"Frankenstein never scared me...Marsupials do...'Cause their fast!"

Kevin Pollock doing his best Chris Walken impersonation ever. Freakin' ridiculously funny if you even remotely consider yourself a Walken fan.
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/27/2006 10:05:06 AM
Whoa. When did I get associated with the esteemed Howie Mandel? I'm a little flattered, of course, but I'm sticking by my accessment that a Red Rider BB gun did you wrong at some point in your life. Otherwise, you'd be full of boyish glee at the mear mentioning of such a glorious childhood gift. Unless you're one of those angry-cause-you-feel-guilty closet Christmas Story kind of guys. And I'm OK with that too...I'm a very openminded individual.
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/26/2006 4:15:48 PM
I think Bob was one of the people who actually shot his eye out.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #28 - Your Animal Reincarnation on 12/18/2006 3:29:34 PM
Anyone else getting a kick out of the "Seeking female. Must like fresh squeezes. True." banner ads that are randomly running on this page? I sure am.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #27 - Your Last Chance For Welfare. Really. on 12/15/2006 4:00:10 PM
Is that your official entry, td?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #27 - Your Last Chance For Welfare. Really. on 12/15/2006 3:18:42 PM
Heh. That's actually kinda funny. Grats mike :D
Comment made about BlogPost: 145 MPH, 9 MPG on 12/15/2006 1:11:56 PM
Gotta agree with td (probably for the first and only time). Thanks for all the awesome topics, man.
Comment made about BlogPost: Communication Skills and Why You Don’t Need Them on 12/15/2006 9:02:24 AM
Oh yes. You caught us iluvstootsi. Because you have never seen someone before, they can't possibly exist. Might want to check out Contests #8, 10 and 11 for our esteemed friend's earlier works. And then maybe, just maybe, take a good hard look in the mirror and try to figure out what makes you get out of bed in the morning, and whether or not you need to reevaluate your life.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Winners on 12/13/2006 4:47:28 PM
"If you challenge Stootsi, you will never win a contest again"

A slight bit over the top, perhaps? Normally we look for a new perspective on an idea, or something that screams originality to win one of these special little contests. Chuckles is NOT original, no matter what way you look at it. Therefore, the entry, however "awesomely great" it is, won't fit our criteria for a winning submission. Just a little insight into the thought process of the minds of the staff.

Oh, and TD, your broken links have been annotated on Page 2's Links section. We certainly could not remove any of the clever banter that you bestowed upon us by removing the links themselves, so we did the next best thing. We also would like to punch Yahoo! in the face for removing their archived arcticles so fast.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Worst Way to Die on 12/13/2006 12:40:46 PM
sell out to Stootsi?! Oh c'mon, you don't sell out to us. You *willing* relinquish your civil and legal rights and/or pride to bask in our glowing commentary, right? Blah.

On a somewhat different note, Two.Lincolns and I definitely are NOT mocking artrosenberger above... we love his stream of consciousness style of writing (reminds me slightly of the late great Hunter S), regardless of where he posts it. You may not agree with his opinion or stories, but he gets the Wynsight Seal of Approval.
Comment made about BlogPost: So You Wanna Be a Rock Star? on 12/13/2006 12:23:47 PM
Just wondering if we're able to use Stootsi Contest Coupons on the CD series. Allow me to state that I have no decernable skill with any instrument, save for a kazoo, triangle, tambourine, and I'm able to play Camptown Races on my Casio keyboard. Sure, I have to press the Demo button, but I can still rock it out.

A $15 Stootsi Coupon used against the $29.95 CD makes this a must buy for the holiday season.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Worst Way to Die on 12/12/2006 5:29:35 PM
Chris Lloyd at his finest.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Worst Way to Die on 12/12/2006 5:05:14 PM
Art, sir, you are on a completely different level than us mere mortals. Stootsi loves you.
Comment made about BlogPost: Best Boss Ever… Or Not on 12/12/2006 2:03:41 PM
As sadistic as it is, I like the way your old boss handles the morbid task of the involuntary termination of the associates. The severence check in the desk drawer...slice of brilliance.
Comment made about BlogPost: Traffic Lessons from Texas on 12/11/2006 9:54:56 PM
Make the horrible puns stop. Ohhh, the pain, the pain.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #22 - Historical Figure I'd Most Like to Meet on 12/11/2006 12:55:13 PM
MRB -- I believe you are completely overlooking the defining word of the entire contest. History.
Here's how Merriam Webster defines 'history' (make notice of no mention of things yet to come):

Main Entry: his·to·ry
Pronunciation: 'his-t(&-)rE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ries
Etymology: Middle English histoire, historie, from Anglo-French estoire, histoire, from Latin historia, from Greek, inquiry, history, from histOr, istOr knowing, learned; akin to Greek eidenai to know -- more at WIT

1 : TALE, STORY
2 a : a chronological record of significant events (as affecting a nation or institution) often including an explanation of their causes b : a treatise presenting systematically related natural phenomena c : an account of a patient's medical background d : an established record [a prisoner with a history of violence]
3 : a branch of knowledge that records and explains past events [medieval history]
4 a : events that form the subject matter of a history b : events of the past c : one that is finished or done for [the winning streak was history] [you're history] d : previous treatment, handling, or experience (as of a metal)
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #21 - So You Want to be a Blogger? on 12/7/2006 5:49:23 PM
It's not a lack of participation :P

"2. You will need to email contests@stootsi.com with five (5) topics for your blog slot along with Monday's full blog entry. DO NOT FORGET TO INCLUDE YOUR USERNAME! "

art obviously just misread and put them in here
Comment made about BlogPost: K-Fed. Legend or Loser? on 12/7/2006 2:28:47 PM
*sigh* First of all, allow me to say that Nich Lacey is nothing without the rest of 98°.

Secondly, to confuse Ms. Spears with any other wannabe HOTT act in the early 2000's is foolish and nieve.
Comment made about BlogPost: K-Fed. Legend or Loser? on 12/6/2006 1:16:16 PM
The better question would be, "Have YOU seen him dance?" and the follow-up to an affirmative answer would be, "WHY?!". And don't say because you wish to emulate his sextastical moves.
Comment made about Article: Brokeback Mountain on 12/5/2006 6:03:07 PM
I feel slightly violated just by reading that. And just a bit aroused.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #20 - Your Worst Nightmare Ever on 12/5/2006 6:00:05 PM
And everything has become so clear to me...
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #19 - 3 Items for a Deserted Island on 12/5/2006 1:48:49 PM
I'm hoping that he's leaning towards just the greatest hits. I thought I'd rather him go with Europe just so he could hear Final Countdown over and over again. Or perhaps just chose Toto. Not the dog, the 80's SUPERGROUP.
Comment made about Article: Brokeback Mountain on 12/4/2006 4:17:10 PM
Brilliance.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #15 - Best Pickup Lines on 11/29/2006 8:50:51 AM
MT-

Like honesty works in any part of the relationship cycle. Pshaw. I'm currently in the "honesty at all cost" stage in the relationship development cycle, and I realize that my g/f assumes I'm lying anyhow. So, to that, I say eff her and her lack of trust, and keep feeding us those lines. It's certainly not like I'm ever gonna use any line fubar throws out, right? :D
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #15 - Best Pickup Lines on 11/28/2006 5:01:01 PM
I think we made a grievous miscalculation in judgement. I can envision way way too many disgusting pickup lines being thrown up here.
Comment made about BlogPost: Road Rage at its Finest on 11/27/2006 12:43:17 PM
Sylvester Stallone never drove through a tunnel. He just moves the mountain out of his way with his bare hands.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #11 - Winners on 11/25/2006 2:03:52 AM
Everyone's on vacation right now...the Boss gave us the day after Thanksgiving off. Yeah, I know...we were absolutely surprised too. The contest winners for both 12 and 13 shall be judged on Monday, I'm assuming. Unless ContestGuy doesn't come back from Atlantic City...which is a distinct possibility.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #9 - Winners! on 11/20/2006 3:21:52 PM
Yessss. He used "Wynsightful" as an adjective. $3 will apparently get ContestGuy to do anything, FYI.
Comment made about Article: Going Out in Style on 11/17/2006 12:32:10 PM
I have played with all types of gamers in my life.. newbies, professionals, VGE-plentiful, and the harlots of the VGE world. None of these playing styles really bother me all that much because I consider myself a chameleon of gaming. Wanna try to throw bombs on me whenever I'm down by 35 late in the 4th? No problem, it'll be coming right back to ya 50-yards-atta-time-Manning-to-Burress-style next game whenever you don't get the lucky fumbles the normally reliable Tiki coughs up. You plannin' on kneeling out the clock when you're up by 12 with 4:00 left? Ok, fine by me. Two can play that game. I'd much rather kneel with Jake Plummer than trust him to throw.

I find it's a lot more enjoyable to beat someone at their own game, using their own style. Kinda like Neo did in the second Matrix. Smash them in the face with an awl pike?...OK, if that's what they wanna try to come at me with. Wanna split someones torso with a big ol' broadsword? Yup, I can accomodate and dominate. Or we can just break it down old-school with some Jackie Chan fisticuffs/matrial arts/outtakes hyjinx.

Seeing as Corbo just walked into the office, wanting to know my take on the article, I must make the final point as such. No matter whether you're playing Madden, Unreal, or Dr. Mario, the key to really getting under someone's skin is to make sure that you win the last game. You may have lost the last 5 matches by a combined 123 frags, but just as long as you can scrape out a win in that all-important last game, you're still in that other person's head until the next time you can play together. And really, that's all that's important in the head-to-head world.
Comment made about Link: Can we just agree that neither taste very good? on 11/17/2006 12:17:21 AM
The only thing I found nausiating about this article is the fact that Qdoba is owned by Jack In The Box. Remind me to never ever eat at a Qdoba again.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #8 - "Mulletmania" on 11/17/2006 12:10:58 AM
I'm going to have to side with Corbo on this... Boo Berry and Frankenberry are quite possibly two of the greatest cereals to get pulled from regular circulation. AND I watched the Snorks. You might as well go for the trifecta and make fun of the pocket Simon, because that thing and I were attached at the hips in my younger days.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #4 on 11/10/2006 8:08:32 PM
Oh let's humor the man...

WHAT I WOULD DO TO GET A BoF APPROVED BY CORBO:

1. First, I'd think back to my childhood to when my mother would tell me, "Wynsight, everytime you don't wash your hand before dinner, a kitten gets shot in the face". So the first thing I'd do is implement the Clean Hands for the Kitten's Sake Foundation.

2. I would take one of Corbo's junior high school pictures (7th grade was especially prepubecent, and thus a lot more embarrassing) and cast a balsa wood, plaster of paris and cottage cheese bust of him. I would then set said bust on his coffee table with a heat lamp on it after he left for work in the morning.

3. I would then buy him an order of General Tso's and some beef lo mein from the chinese place down the road. It's good. I'll probably buy some for myself too. And I think I owe either Veritas or RomeDawg for lunch today. Crap. Anyhow, you'll hafta believe me on how awesomely awesome this chinese place is.

4. Spraypaint "APPROVED BY WYNSIGHT" in maroon and green letters on the hood of his little silver sports car. There are other people at this company that can approve stuff too, Mr Corbo "Egotrip" Hitler.

5. Finally I'm going to buy MacGuiver Season 1 off some Chinese hack site just so I can learn how to make Corbo a lava lamp for his desk made out of ceramic, silly putty, Red Bull, paper clips, Trident cinnamon gum (cinnamon is the only correct answer for "What's the best flavor of Trident gum EVER?"), duct tape and llama saliva.

DO I GET A BOX OF FUN NOW CORBO???
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #4 on 11/10/2006 7:48:53 PM
I'm getting the sinking feeling that Corbo made this contest so he could get an ego trip. He's going to be hell to work with on Monday. :(
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