Welcome to Stootsi.com!
Author Archive
Two.Lincolns's Authorship
Blogs
Articles
Posted @ 2/14/2008 10:48:46 AM
Posted @ 1/22/2008 10:28:49 AM
Links
Comments
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #137 - Ron Artest "Just Wants To Let You Know" on 5/13/2009 10:06:29 AM
"oh ok, mr. i-can't-be-tickled, how are you doin now with my soft breath on your neck... thats what i thought"
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #137 - Ron Artest "Just Wants To Let You Know" on 5/13/2009 9:58:38 AM
"shhhh.. kobe, listen to me, there's some guy to my left trying to strangle you, no dont look, dont look!"
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #137 - Ron Artest "Just Wants To Let You Know" on 5/12/2009 11:10:52 AM
"yep, thats a ruptured eardrum alright.. oh sorry, YUP, THATS A RUPTURED EARDRUM ALRIGHT"
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #134 - Put Up Your Dukes on 3/16/2009 6:35:07 PM
demi moore and whoopi goldberg re-enact scenes from the movie Ghost for the 20th anniversary of the landmark film. Not pictured: patrick swayze
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #132 - Poison Ivy on 2/23/2009 4:47:13 PM
I hope if I'm ever kidnapped by a rifle-wielding man with forearm tattoos, that all he makes me do is smoke a cigar as daintily as possible
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #131 - Get Off My Lawn! on 2/10/2009 11:28:53 AM
This wasnt what I was looking for either!
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #126 - One Man Militia on 12/1/2008 4:33:43 PM
ooo, pretty fancy, i've only read about these glaucoma tests by phone in science fiction rags
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #119 - Anonymous or Drunk? on 9/26/2008 9:08:41 AM
strangely, these both look like barbara walters
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #119 - Anonymous or Drunk? on 9/22/2008 3:03:12 PM
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #116 - Likes: Long Walks on Oil Spills on 9/2/2008 3:30:52 PM
"aren't you a little young to be captaining this boat?"
Comment made about BlogPost: A Message From Corbo on 8/1/2008 3:25:39 PM
first 4 years we were http://corbo.stootsi.blogspot.com, apparently
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #108 - 2nd Amendment is still 1st Loser on 6/30/2008 10:10:15 PM
"I'm so Republican that this is what my wife gives birth to after we have sex."
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #106 - Common Man's Hero on 6/11/2008 3:59:32 PM
ITS THE ONLY PART THAT PERTAINED TO ME
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #106 - Common Man's Hero on 6/11/2008 10:24:12 AM
I haven't judged a contest, thats ContestGuy's realm. In fact, unlike the blame game society we live in, I prefer not to judge at all.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #106 - Common Man's Hero on 6/10/2008 2:51:07 PM
"Anyone can edit a wiki page. Whether the information is factual or not doesn't matter."

They said the same thing about Encyclopedia Britannica and World Book Encyclopedia when they came out. There are luddites in every generation, which, if I understand wikipedia correctly, are people from the country of Ludditia who insist on maintaing an oral history of their people, eschewing pen and paper for refined dialogue.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #106 - Common Man's Hero on 6/9/2008 5:03:29 PM
He's clinging to that guy's hand like its his gun or his religion
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #106 - Common Man's Hero on 6/9/2008 5:00:52 PM
Barack Obama stops for a meet & greet with the cast of 90s hit sitcom Roseanne
Comment made about Article: Pittsburgh Steelers Advance to the Stanley Cup Finals on 6/3/2008 10:27:01 AM
sorry, change that 'TH' to a 'D'
Comment made about Article: Pittsburgh Steelers Advance to the Stanley Cup Finals on 6/3/2008 10:26:17 AM
ONE.
FOR.
THE.
THUMB!
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #105 - What Can Brown Do to You? on 6/3/2008 10:11:32 AM
"go on out there and break a leg"
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #103 - Titletown on 5/23/2008 2:10:11 PM
Lexanculpt, are you by chance the same person as Lexanculpt the electronic music artist?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #102 - Happy Bjirthday on 5/19/2008 3:15:36 PM
"So don't you worry, I got you covered."

.... ahem.... so to speak
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #101 - No Blood for Corn! on 5/7/2008 11:25:02 AM
"This is most cost effective fuel source that doesn't affect you and I in every day life. Name another that doesn't."

your opinions?
jk

"sorry" was just because of the awful pun, not the validity of getting baked and calling it sustainable energy.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #101 - No Blood for Corn! on 5/6/2008 12:07:16 PM
You know what happens when you rely on Solar Power, right? You get hit where the sun don't shine.

sorry
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #99 - Old & Older on 4/21/2008 5:08:10 PM
Give Condoleeza Rice a few more years and she could be a dynamite Sophia Loren and then nothing will stop the studios from gifting us with Grumpiest Old Men
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #97 - Latter Day Ain'ts on 4/10/2008 5:15:14 PM
For these Romney supporters, the primary isn't over until the convention.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #97 - Latter Day Ain'ts on 4/10/2008 5:12:32 PM
Raft? I don't get it...
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #95 - Awwwkkwwwaarrrd on 3/24/2008 5:33:07 PM
A tense moment as Ted Kennedy is congratulated after breaking Hank Aaron's homerun record in bizarro America.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #93 - Living in Perfect Harmony on 3/11/2008 12:31:07 PM
I hate it when a porno has a ridiculous plot
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #92 - Workin on those Knight Moves on 3/4/2008 12:30:28 PM
Bobby Knight slowly curls his right hand into a fist with no intention of hitting anyone, just scaring them and wishing he would have called a 20 second instead of a full timeout
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Sports Movies on 3/3/2008 3:00:45 PM
I judge Tiger Woods to be the best golfer of them all!
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Sports Movies on 2/26/2008 10:52:59 AM
Believability, maybe. Hot dudes, never.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #91 - Barack O-Yawn-A on 2/25/2008 4:13:43 PM
Barack lets his wedding ring rebuke the private's advances.
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Sports Movies on 2/19/2008 10:48:25 AM
No mention of Blue Crush, Sugar & Spice, or 2 Fast 2 Furious? Inexcusable. This list is about as controversial as Rogert Ebert replacing Gene Siskel with that robot.
Comment made about Article: We're hiring in the recession's face on 2/14/2008 2:41:25 PM
not too far north of Pittsburgh, should I go ahead and assume you're stalking us?
Comment made about Article: Obligatory Valentine's Day Topic on 2/14/2008 11:04:33 AM
Fine, I'll start:

I love Peaches and Cottage Cheese (thats a euphemism)
I hate Congress (also a euphemism)
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #88 - I'm Quarterback, I'm Popular on 2/8/2008 2:33:45 PM
award for being censored for breaking the formatting of the page
Comment made about Article: We're hiring in the recession's face on 2/8/2008 12:29:48 PM
sorry about that... anyway, list of qualifications are definitely not all or nothing. my job is to not post stupid comments to page2 and i rarely meet that job requirement.
Comment made about Article: We're hiring in the recession's face on 2/8/2008 12:28:37 PM
waht?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #88 - I'm Quarterback, I'm Popular on 2/4/2008 3:30:01 PM
Looks like Tom is about 2 shirtless guys and one slow-mo sack away from an Abercrombie ad.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #87 - iSmug on 2/1/2008 3:59:05 PM
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOOTSI, HOW DO I MAKE THIS FONT BIGGER??
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #85 - Fight the Power on 1/17/2008 10:30:09 AM
"scared by the naked local guy who kept walking up and down the beach. "

I'm actually a pretty nice guy if you take the time to get to know me.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #85 - Fight the Power on 1/15/2008 1:51:48 PM
I'd recommend something different for your Lets Say Thanks card

http://www.letssaythanks.com/
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #84 - Photo Caption - Huckabee Finn on 1/10/2008 12:30:31 PM
It takes a special man to wear denim only above the waist.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #80 - Free Vick on 12/13/2007 4:57:59 PM
I bet his post resembled a Dixie Chicks song. I mean, they share a hatred of Bush and an impeccable sense of harmony.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #79 - Photo Caption - When Strikes Matter on 12/6/2007 7:33:15 AM
"Don't get me wrong, U2 is great"

i liked this comment much better back when i was still getting you wrong
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #79 - Photo Caption - When Strikes Matter on 12/3/2007 4:07:37 PM
Why does everyone hate this movie so much? I'll admit that it isn't exactly funny... which could easily be trouble for a comedy. But I still thought it was very entertaining.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #78 - Explain Yourself on 11/29/2007 9:35:15 AM
You can never find a good (contest) nazi when you need one.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #78 - Explain Yourself on 11/29/2007 9:20:13 AM
I've never heard of any of those restaurants
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #78 - Explain Yourself on 11/28/2007 3:20:25 PM
I'm as gay as two lincolns. I've yet to find my Mary Todd though.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #78 - Explain Yourself on 11/26/2007 3:44:21 PM
Awesome, Porcupine Tree. I only know them from the album 'Lightbulb Sun' but I really enjoyed that. Are the rest of their albums worth checking out?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #77 - We Want/Need Your Vote. on 11/20/2007 10:23:09 AM
Congratulations, artrosenberger. You suckered me into looking back through all of our contests (on my free time, boss, on my free time!). We had one where you pretend you're on the Supreme Court so as to choose our President and we had one where ContestGuy asked you fools to sloganize a website. I didn't see this contest idea previously used.

Happy to be proved wrong though.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #76 - We Give Shanks on 11/19/2007 7:18:10 AM
"(Although, muchos kudos for the correct usage of both "you're" and "your" in one comment.)"

how would you know?
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #76 - We Give Shanks on 11/12/2007 4:13:12 PM
I'm thankful for the right to not vote.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #74 - Winners on 11/6/2007 10:45:21 AM
Is that an acronym?
Comment made about BlogPost: Week Seven: The one with 8 field goals... on 11/5/2007 4:54:13 PM
GASP!
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #74 - The Hunt on 11/3/2007 5:44:30 PM
Hey! Leave Corbo alone, he's a valued member of our community here. Let him be how he wants to be. We like him just the way he is.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #73 - I Want You on 10/29/2007 10:52:56 AM
"the result of a stootsi server issue"

a whatsi what issue?
Comment made about BlogPost: Week Seven: The one with 8 field goals... on 10/24/2007 10:32:17 AM
Well, that didn't take too long. 'iluv' is already plummeting. Someone, or someones, didn't like see him/her at #1, apparently.
Comment made about BlogPost: Week Seven: The one with 8 field goals... on 10/24/2007 10:10:36 AM
basically, basically, basically, bascially. stupid adverbs.
Comment made about BlogPost: Week Seven: The one with 8 field goals... on 10/24/2007 10:10:11 AM
Thanks for noticing spud, basically the change is just to eligibility requirements. Basically, we don't want someone with 1 comment and 1 rating of 10 to immediately shoot to the top of the charts (like Semisonic with the song 'Closing Time'), it could prove to be a fluke (like Semisonic with the song 'Closing Time') so we alter what it takes to be considered for the list as comments and ratings increase.
Comment made about Article: The Wife Takes a Beating after Steelers Loss on 10/24/2007 10:04:10 AM
"This was not parody just poor taste. "

spud, are you saying the two are mutually exclusive?
Comment made about BlogPost: Week Seven: The one with 8 field goals... on 10/24/2007 9:24:25 AM
It appears we have a new #1 on the Highest Ratiings board. Congrats 'iluv'. I'll be interested to see how long you stay there. Corbo's reign lasted a very long time.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #72 - Date Me! on 10/15/2007 3:49:03 PM
Not that I've seen.
Comment made about Article: Mike Vick To Fans: "Just Kidding" on 10/11/2007 4:54:58 PM
"WRONG. The Old Navy swim gear display she was setting up fell over on her."

I thought Morgan Fairchild could stand herself up. Exactly how old is she?
Comment made about Article: Mike Vick To Fans: "Just Kidding" on 10/11/2007 4:28:29 PM
That elephant had no business being in that packaging plant. What a tragedy.
Comment made about Article: Mike Vick To Fans: "Just Kidding" on 10/11/2007 10:27:02 AM
Being 3 years old when OJ was acquitted and then watching documentaries about it later doesn't make you an expert. So why are you pretending to be?
Comment made about Article: Mike Vick To Fans: "Just Kidding" on 10/11/2007 9:58:59 AM
It seems like Rae Carruth is being punished in a way that suggests his crime is far worse than Michael Vick's.
Comment made about Article: New Study Reveals That Laughter Is Not The Best Medicine on 10/4/2007 9:14:08 AM
I wasn't quoting you. I was quoting America.
Comment made about Article: New Study Reveals That Laughter Is Not The Best Medicine on 10/4/2007 9:06:18 AM
"In the 90's doctors found that Fran Drescher's nasally laugh was not funny at all"

more like incredibly endearing
Comment made about BlogPost: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT on 10/1/2007 9:12:39 AM
Art, on behalf of the Food Network viewing audience: yawn
Comment made about BlogPost: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT on 9/28/2007 4:24:57 PM
I think voting for yourself is a very important thing. If you're honest with yourself then you know you're not always on top of your game and so may not always deserve a 10. If you're a dishonest person, I have confidence that you'll get yours eventually.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #67 - Off the Chain Melody on 9/13/2007 2:25:21 PM
May I ask what the "RULER" button is?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #67 - Off the Chain Melody on 9/12/2007 1:27:51 PM
doubtful
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #67 - Off the Chain Melody on 9/12/2007 9:39:18 AM
Not to defend Corbo but the plural of ellipsis is ellipses and RomeDawg used more than one ellipsis in his post
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #67 - Off the Chain Melody on 9/11/2007 4:22:44 PM
Who better to know the value of words than the man who uttered them?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #67 - Off the Chain Melody on 9/11/2007 4:08:48 PM
I agree, I hate that guy/girl.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #67 - Off the Chain Melody on 9/11/2007 3:26:07 PM
lame
Comment made about Link: This Whoopi Goldberg fellow is crazy on 9/11/2007 3:08:32 PM
does it?
Comment made about Link: This Whoopi Goldberg fellow is crazy on 9/11/2007 2:58:26 PM
really?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #66 - Sigh... Another Photo Caption on 9/4/2007 3:39:07 PM
Pro-environment candidate John Edwards gives new meaning to the Green screen.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #66 - Sigh... Another Photo Caption on 9/4/2007 3:21:38 PM
"Yeah, so you can log in to my blog non-securely, big deal!"
Comment made about Item: on 8/31/2007 2:07:17 PM
a battery, eh?
Comment made about Article: Food? Food! on 8/31/2007 1:57:26 PM
YES, ANOTHER SEX JOKE. APPARENTLY, I'M GOOD FOR NOTHING ELSE.
Comment made about Article: Food? Food! on 8/31/2007 1:56:54 PM
"when dipped in butter, beaten out with a hammer, squeezed from a tube, rubbed down with spices, doused in habanera sauce, run through a meat grinder, or sautéed in a light cream sauce."

uh, are we still talking about food?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #63: Supreme Court for a Day: Choose our President! on 8/14/2007 4:15:57 PM
Ward Churchill
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #62 - Barry Bonds Does Baseball on 8/7/2007 4:49:53 PM
Barry Bonds, greatest player of all time, hits record-tying homerun.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #60 - Your Captions, Your Contest on 7/24/2007 10:38:00 PM
And this, my friends, is how Allen Funt makes great television happen
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #59 - Sloganize Your Favorite Website on 7/18/2007 2:47:26 PM
www.kimcattrall.com

"Am I the old hag?"
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #58 - Hot Dogs Anyone? on 7/12/2007 11:17:42 AM
We can just skip the naturalization process, right? With a gluttonous attitude like that and an unadultuared love of excess, he's a far better American than I can ever dream to be.
Comment made about Article: All I Have to Offer is my W(h)ining on 7/12/2007 11:06:33 AM
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin Franklin

I don't know who this Benjamin Drunklin is but with opinions like that I doubt he's accomplished much in his life. Not to mention, terrible example for kids.

Those who give up essential temperance for temporary happiness deserve neither.
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #54 - Winners on 6/19/2007 7:14:41 PM
"topdollar means an intense and utter hatred bordering on uncontrollable rage..."

...in wynsight's britches
Comment made about Article: The Thirteen Sports Things I've Learned in June on 6/14/2007 10:42:24 AM
"Nascar is still not a sport. It's an excuse to get drunk, watch cars turn left 800 times and pray that there's a 15 car pileup where no one gets injured."

A sport is defined by what the fans do while watching?
Comment made about Article: The Thirteen Sports Things I've Learned in June on 6/14/2007 10:40:15 AM
"Local buffet restaurants are rejoicing seeing that 15% of that projected windfall will come their way thanks to John Daly"

What's he in town for?
Comment made about Article: The Thirteen Sports Things I've Learned in June on 6/13/2007 9:01:42 AM
"a group of overweight Italians who love listening to Journey while they wait to get whacked in a greasy low-class restaurant."

SPOILER ALERT!
Comment made about BlogPost: Helium Girl on 6/5/2007 9:38:07 PM
that better not be a joke about the lovely and hyper-talented sinead o'connor
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #53 - Would You Rather, Part 2 on 6/5/2007 1:25:47 PM
"Would you rather watch your parents do the nasty OR have your parents watch you do the nasty?"

the question you always have to ask yourself when confronted with a sexual decision is which will bring me the bigger profit. Any success in my life I owe to this principle
Comment made about BlogPost: Helium Girl on 6/5/2007 1:20:28 PM
dmichitti: Have you seen the Helium advertisement on the Page 2 homepage?
Comment made about Article: Everything I Needed to Know I Learned by Opening a Socket to CTU on 5/24/2007 11:11:46 AM
I learned that sex with the vice president is never casual.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #51 - Haiku and You - A Stootsi Experience on 5/22/2007 10:36:31 PM
thanks to raggityman and coryj, i am thinking of someone who would really enjoy some crunch talk

nnnnnnnnnInsidejoke
Comment made about Link: Wire-tap that a** on 5/22/2007 10:33:20 PM
you must have great coverage because i feel a cell tower being built in my pants
Comment made about Link: Wire-tap that a** on 5/22/2007 10:32:11 PM
hey there sexy, why dont we go somewhere quiet and have a privates conversation
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Movies I Just Watched on 5/22/2007 9:29:02 AM
"who is next on his way to serving a five year tour with the Army in Iraq."

SUPPORT THE TROOPS, BRING 'EM HOME!
Comment made about Article: Suns Win, Ronaldo Is Proud Of Nash on 5/15/2007 4:21:04 PM
Interesting point BobFromGilroy.

The flop only happens after the fall?

I disagree.

Please advise.
Comment made about Article: Jazz Steal Game 4, Jerry Sloan Still Hates Life on 5/15/2007 12:20:12 PM
Do I have to name everyone who cares? It may take a while to compile and admittedly I'm not really eager to do it.
Comment made about Article: Jazz Steal Game 4, Jerry Sloan Still Hates Life on 5/15/2007 11:31:27 AM
"Golden State did their best UNLV 1990/Fab Five/Five-Slamma-Jamma impression last night on their way to THIRTY NINE three point attempts. "

While the early 90s UNLV teams were certainly known for a fast-breaking style and high point totals, and to a slightly lesser extent the Fab-Five teams, weren't all three of these teams also characterized by dominating big men (larry johnson, chris webber/juwan howard, and (pre H) akeem) and mostly average shooting guards (greg anthony, jalen rose/jimmy king, clyde drexler)? I'm certainly not old enough to have watched any Phi-Slamma-Jamma, though.

I would have liked a Pitino-era Kentucky reference.
Or maybe a shoot-the-first-remotely-open-shot Loyola Marymount reference.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #48 - Idiots Caught on Film on 5/1/2007 11:46:52 AM
"I got it up by myself, and if you don't want to help, I can get it down myself "

ah, the lonely art of self-congratulation
Comment made about Article: Why Men Love Golf on 5/1/2007 10:02:03 AM
The only two lessons I learned from golf:

a) keep your left arm the same as your sexuality
b) shoes must match your skin tone
Comment made about BlogPost: Contest #47 - Winners on 5/1/2007 9:58:50 AM
"and also a rare role in the first place winner. "

cough.. (water spitting on the table in front of me), what?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #47 - Stootsi on the Silver Screen on 4/30/2007 2:57:51 PM
"Val Kilmer as Two.Lincolns. "

no wonder the professor is so stiff

hey-ohhhhh
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #47 - Stootsi on the Silver Screen on 4/24/2007 12:05:35 PM
Is this some kind of crack about how I still occasionally wet the .... ugh, I thought life was supposed to get less cruel after high school.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #47 - Stootsi on the Silver Screen on 4/24/2007 11:48:34 AM
Ever since Copland, I haven't had much confidence in my script-writing abilities. All I ask is for someone to cast me as 'Alarmed Congressman, Just Powerful Enough to Keep my Children out of Iraq, Confronted By Frothing At The Mouth And Sweating At The Teets Michael Moore"

I feel this is right in my wheelhouse.
Comment made about Link: Can it at least be double-ply? on 4/24/2007 11:41:57 AM
"I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming," Crow wrote.


Its a wonder she has any time to write good music...
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #46 - Give Us a Caption on 4/20/2007 12:07:49 PM
stonetumbler, only if the whole thing is videotaped by joe rogan
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #46 - Give Us a Caption on 4/19/2007 11:18:06 PM
"Still haven't seen a Dane Cook line..."

you mean a Louis CK line stolen by Dane Cook, right?
Comment made about Article: Airline + frequent flier miles = still sucks on 4/19/2007 9:09:05 PM
"any company can do whatever they want"

- Pres. Bush
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #46 - Give Us a Caption on 4/17/2007 8:22:31 AM
Mentos: The Freshmaker
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #45 - Stootsi's New Spokesperson on 4/13/2007 10:27:46 AM
I've been intensely studying that picture for a while now and I can't see his pecs.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #45 - Stootsi's New Spokesperson on 4/12/2007 3:49:40 PM
It took phillbis 4 words to dissect you. You needed 18 (give or take a sentence) to try. Take note.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #45 - Stootsi's New Spokesperson on 4/9/2007 3:17:19 PM
"While I don't necessarily buy a person because a celebrity is endorsing them"

I don't care about celebrities either, I only buy people on sale.
Comment made about Article: A Convenient Truth on 4/3/2007 5:16:23 PM
dmichitti, check out hank aaron's home run totals from age 32-39.
http://www.baseball-reference.com/a/aaronha01.shtml
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #43 - Impress Me! on 3/26/2007 5:22:53 PM
You call that a heart transplant?
Comment made about BlogPost: Criti-Size Me on 3/23/2007 2:25:47 PM
To borrow a phrase from Trent Lott, I think our country would be a lot better off if we valued quantity (of hair) over quality.
Comment made about BlogPost: Spoiler Alert on 3/22/2007 2:01:07 PM
Maybe Morgan Freeman would still be alive if he was riding in Redford's crew instead of Clint's
Comment made about BlogPost: Impress Me! on 3/21/2007 3:18:19 PM
WELL?
....

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Pittsburgh Movies on 3/16/2007 11:44:00 AM
"Everyone, and I mean everyone, has seen this classic starring Jennifer Beals as Pittsburgh welder by day and an exotic dancer by night."

The thing that confused me most about this movie was why Kevin Bacon wouldn't just let her do what she loved (dancing). The sequel where he kidnaps her daughter with kurt cobain's wife and that portly slow fella was much more exciting (and realistic).
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #40 - The Troubled Youth of Today on 3/6/2007 11:00:57 AM
SPOILER ALERT!
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #40 - The Troubled Youth of Today on 3/5/2007 11:38:30 PM
the last gay boyscout is removed from the troop
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/3/2007 7:11:35 PM
I guess the difference between medicine and poison is the amount of juice used to dilute it.

Dosage, you've been replaced through the magic of technology. You had a good run.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/2/2007 1:39:55 PM
Bulldozer36, they too can have those qualities. All it takes is buying a bottle of "steroids" and you'll become a chia pet of muscles. ESPN told me so.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/2/2007 12:42:46 PM
Why wouldn't steroids also enable pitchers to hit spots more accurately and more often, as well as get greater action on a ball, pitch at high levels for longer periods of time and pitch more often?
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/2/2007 12:02:14 AM
"I know it's history, it's players and it's rules as well as anyone."

I plan on taking the rest of your comment seriously.
Comment made about Article: Allow the Idiots to Come Forth. on 3/1/2007 8:11:50 AM
I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that Pittsburgh finds a minority or two (a brash, outspoken one most likely) to blame for this.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/28/2007 12:08:39 PM
remove the letter 'L' and you got yourself a deal
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/28/2007 12:04:01 PM
geez, get an e-room already
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #39 - WTF Did She Do!? Caption Contest on 2/27/2007 12:27:34 AM
But when Bruce Willis does it, he's hotter.

America, your hypocrisy makes me ill.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/26/2007 8:30:57 AM
Your loose-lipped parents in a marathon game of truth or dare.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/25/2007 9:39:41 PM
"sparing the youngsters from seeing the "casual Friday daisy dukes" he was sporting under them."

Did you know that I've been toning?
Because I have.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/25/2007 1:45:45 PM
"and none of them seemed to care that Two.Lincolns was wearing a pair of sweatpants"

and sweating.
Comment made about Article: Stootsi's New Best Friends on 2/25/2007 1:44:43 PM
"and none of them seemed to care that Two.Lincolns was wearing a pair of sweatpants"

make that stretch denim
Comment made about BlogPost: Beer, it’s what’s for dinner! on 2/20/2007 10:56:19 AM
what?
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #38 - The Battle Royale of the Bands on 2/20/2007 8:11:25 AM
Norwegian black metal band "Mayhem"

Sure they're down one slaughtered band member and you'd have to bust the (sgt.) slaughter-er out of prison; but if you could get the rest them to fight on the same side for just long enough and not murder each other, they would be unstoppable.
Comment made about BlogPost: It's Called SNOW. It Happens From Time to Time. on 2/15/2007 3:37:57 PM
"Why is it that people go to insane extremes whenever there's a slight break from the recent norm?"

or when people find comfort in commiserating with others and engaging in harmless group hyperbole
Comment made about BlogPost: It's Called SNOW. It Happens From Time to Time. on 2/15/2007 3:36:41 PM
"All I need is a webcam and I'd be able to be "live on the scene", "

and nude
Comment made about BlogPost: It's Called SNOW. It Happens From Time to Time. on 2/15/2007 3:34:08 PM
"Yes, it's going to make getting my girlfriend's Valentine's Day gift tonight a real pain in the butt."

truths in the parentheses: wynsight's lover better give up the goods tonight and wynsight likes dudes in drag
Comment made about BlogPost: It's Called SNOW. It Happens From Time to Time. on 2/15/2007 3:30:30 PM
WHAT BUSINESS DID AL GORE EV.... oh, I see what you did.
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/9/2007 9:26:45 AM
There's still an Eastern Europe? What the H did we fight the Cold War for?
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/8/2007 11:46:03 AM
"The mindset of the move obviously isn't sports related."

I agree that you explained this.

"Actually, the purpose of the entire article is to prove that Beckham has nothing to offer soccer except his looks."

I'm saying you only provided one fleeting reason for this. Explaining why the deal was made doesn't necessarily affect whether or not Becks offers anything to US soccer. What are the soccer-related reasons US soccer will not benefit from Becks, besides "used to have good ball control and finishing skills" (which sounds like a male looking for male craigslist personal ad)
Comment made about Article: Go Home Becks... But Your Wife Can Stay on 2/8/2007 9:33:55 AM
Huh, what do you know... An article complaining about how Becks won't be good for American soccer and how no soccer reasons exist that explain this deal; an article that uses only one fleeting soccer-related reason to explain its ire.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #35 - Your Ingenious Caption! on 1/29/2007 10:41:37 PM
1st grade at Columbine.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #34 - Winners on 1/29/2007 5:14:10 PM
That guy from 'Welcome Back, Trotter'?
Comment made about Link: Sat-nav devices still can't cure stupidity on 1/25/2007 11:02:36 AM
I for one welcome our new SatNav overlords.
Comment made about Article: Semi-thankful Ramblings on 1/24/2007 10:03:15 PM
"My foreign girlfriend tells me that (normally in a nicer way) almost daily."

on behalf of Pres. Bush and the NSA: yeah, we know.
Comment made about Article: Semi-thankful Ramblings on 1/24/2007 10:01:22 PM
"but the fact of the matter is that Asia makes better saki, sushi, Sonatas, and stereos."

and power ballads.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #33 - Your Greatest Invention on 1/16/2007 4:27:45 PM
Juniorkode,

I know less about cars than I do about feminine hygeine (this may not be saying much) but this may be like what you were talking about
The newer Nissans.

"How Xtronic CVT Works: while automatic and manual transmissions use multiple gear sets with an integral clutch and bands to achieve separate gear ratios, Xtronic CVT uses an infinitely adjustable ratio design. For example, instead of jumping from a 2nd gear ratio of 1.950 to a 3rd gear ratio of 1.392, Xtronic CVT can rapidly progress through 1.950, 1.949, 1.948 - stepping seamlessly through 1.392 as the diameter of its pulleys gradually adjust. Because of this progression, the Xtronic CVT “changes” ratios with no perceptible pauses, jerks or lurches, virtually eliminating traditional shift shock."
Comment made about Link: Panda porn sweeping Asia. Hot hot hot! on 1/16/2007 10:46:07 AM
"She is introduced into the mating pen rear end first, so the male cannot see the face of his partner until they have finished copulating."

In the United States, this is now known as the Kobe defense.
Comment made about Link: Panda porn sweeping Asia. Hot hot hot! on 1/16/2007 10:44:20 AM
"After 20 years of trial and error, scientists at Wolong boast they can now breed pandas at will."

I've tried it. Women don't find that as impressive as you think.
Comment made about Link: Panda porn sweeping Asia. Hot hot hot! on 1/16/2007 10:43:19 AM
"They were known for shyness, a low sex drive and a diet that was overly dependent on eating huge quantities"

And here I thought porn caused this.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #32 - Your Fictional Three Person Entourage on 1/14/2007 6:30:51 PM
"3. ROBERTO MOUSOLLINI"

Ahh. The Mousollini boy that didn't bone over an entire nation with his 2nd rate Hitlerism.

An excellent choice.
Comment made about BlogPost: I Ramble... on 1/12/2007 10:23:52 AM
blah
Comment made about BlogPost: I Ramble... on 1/11/2007 1:18:56 PM
stupid stuff
Comment made about BlogPost: I Ramble... on 1/11/2007 12:39:39 PM
what?
Comment made about BlogPost: PS3 Contest Winner and Runners Up! on 1/8/2007 8:18:55 AM
"I find Two.Lincoln's comment to be a spectacular example of irony in that he consistently misunderstands the nature of irony and, quite ironically, has no problem proving this to everyone in comments and IMs about irony. "

but you used the exact same definition of irony that i..... oh, I see what you did there.
Comment made about Article: Cannibalistic Hollywood Starlet Waifs on 1/4/2007 5:17:19 PM
6 months from now when Mary Kate is blowing up the silver screen starring as a crusading Conservative Christian turned Vampire-Zombie; you will look really foolish, Wynsight.
Comment made about BlogPost: PS3 Contest Winner and Runners Up! on 1/3/2007 11:38:21 AM
Corbo said: "I hereby find any post complaining about the winner ironic, given his entry."

This is a glorious example of dramatic irony, defined as follows:

"The dramatic effect achieved by leading an audience to understand an incongruity between a situation and the accompanying speeches, while the characters in the play remain unaware of the incongruity. "

Corbo's failed attempt at identifying irony is understood by me (and hopefully others) in the audience and the character making the speech (Corbo) is unaware of his misidentification.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #31 - Your Impossible New Year's Resolution on 1/3/2007 9:25:54 AM
That's like watching Mr. Show on cable
Comment made about BlogPost: Butt-sniffing Dogs and Their Idiot Owners on 12/31/2006 4:58:39 PM
"Sorry, had to throw some sports in there to 'butch' the story up a bit."

BigTy, would you mind following Wynsight around all day and adding your two cents? Much of his day needs butching up.
Comment made about BlogPost: Butt-sniffing Dogs and Their Idiot Owners on 12/29/2006 2:28:09 PM
Yeah, I guess I never really thought of it like that. He may be the more attractive of the two.
Comment made about BlogPost: Butt-sniffing Dogs and Their Idiot Owners on 12/29/2006 1:14:11 PM
"If you turn your hand sideways, you will see that the bruise the dogbite made is not in the shape of an 'N' at all..."

its jokes like this that got Michael Douglas to the promised land
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/29/2006 1:12:38 PM
I didn't realize Supergroupicity was retroactive
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/28/2006 5:56:36 PM
I'm left with no choice but to assume the following about Wynsight:

a) he loves him some arena rock
b) he has no idea what a "Supergroup" is.

I don't know of a cure for (a), but the cure for (b) is knowledge, which I will provide.
A supergroup is a band comprised of members that have already achieved fame/success with another band or as a solo artist. Examples: Traveling Wilburys, Damn Yankees, New Pornographers
Comment made about BlogPost: I Ramble... on 12/27/2006 10:24:59 AM
no said you said you were
Comment made about BlogPost: Butt-sniffing Dogs and Their Idiot Owners on 12/26/2006 2:58:20 PM
"in pursuit of being able to play The Allman Brothers' Melissa on at least Hard, if not Expert, mode"

I heard this sounds best on Molly Hatchet mode.
Comment made about Article: My Top Five Christmas Movies on 12/26/2006 11:16:11 AM
How could you leave off that one where Will Ferrell plays a simpleton and runs around saying ridiculous things that have no place in our modern society? Talladega Nights or something.
Comment made about Link: Talk about one of your all-time great backfires. on 12/20/2006 9:54:17 AM
"But for her having made the application in Family Court, we never would have known about this,"

unless they asked one of the 2500 people the dad told.
Comment made about BlogPost: 145 MPH, 9 MPG on 12/17/2006 12:50:31 AM
presidentbush doesnt care about exclamation points
Comment made about Link: Atlas Chugged on 12/17/2006 12:47:26 AM
She liked trains, people. Loved 'em. It's like all through the book.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #26 - Worst Holiday Gift Ever on 12/15/2006 10:39:30 AM
flamtap, is it a nice harmonica? If you havent... uh.. .used it... I might be interested in taking it off your hands.. unless, that is, your hands touched it.
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Worst Way to Die on 12/13/2006 12:53:36 PM
Wynsight said: "On a somewhat different note, Two.Lincolns and I definitely"

yeah... uh, i'm going to go ahead and thank you for not speaking on my behalf anymore.
Comment made about Link: Yo-Yo Ma never played it this way before, I pray. on 12/13/2006 11:48:52 AM
... but be std free
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Worst Way to Die on 12/12/2006 5:26:55 PM
doot4runner,

That's called a "Judge Doom".
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #24 - Worst Way to Die on 12/12/2006 5:05:09 PM
art, loving it. please continue.
Comment made about Link: Yo-Yo Ma never played it this way before, I pray. on 12/11/2006 12:31:47 PM
wynsight, something tells me you'd still end up resining your own bow.
Comment made about BlogPost: WNBA Stands For "Will Never Be Awesome" on 12/8/2006 2:03:15 PM
"topdollar", is it?

I realize this was most likely detailed in the Lillith Fair program, however I missed said fair to attend Ozzfest for some overwhelming heterosexual male fun, like going shirtless and slamming into each other until dripping with sweat.
Comment made about BlogPost: WNBA Stands For "Will Never Be Awesome" on 12/8/2006 1:49:52 PM
Dude, Mel Etheridge.
Comment made about Article: Brokeback Mountain on 12/6/2006 1:13:06 PM
Do you think Quaid just brings his own trailer to movies in which he has a role? I imagine they don't even tell him they're filming, they just use spy cameras to capture his daily interactions with the cast when they vist his trailer.
Comment made about BlogPost: K-Fed. Legend or Loser? on 12/6/2006 1:10:42 PM
"eventually dupe her into marrying you"

Have you ever even seen him dance?
I suggest doing that before confusing 'dupe' with 'seduce'.
Comment made about Link: Apparently noone wants a pony for Christmas anymore on 12/6/2006 1:08:08 PM
"This should only be available to the most depraved people who want to corrupt their children."

Not all of us can be the best and most depraved. Shouldn't the only thing that matters be our commitment to corrupting our children? What happened to playing the game because you love the game? Leave it to America to use competition and capitalism to pollute something as pure as emotionally and physically damaging your children.
Comment made about BlogPost: Road Rage at its Finest on 11/27/2006 12:41:09 PM
"It's not like you have to approach it at 15 MPH because there's a great chance that it's going to collapse"

allow me to address this on behalf of Sylvester Stallone and the delightful Amy Brenneman:
You, sir, are a fool.
Comment made about Article: Men are from Mars, Women are from Shopping Malls on 11/15/2006 10:25:53 AM
It's good to see that you don't give blood relatives preferential treatment, topdollar.
Comment made about Article: The Waiting Game on 11/14/2006 3:16:06 PM
Have you ever tried putting on a skirt? Its not as easy as it looks.
Comment made about Article: Remember the Romance of '86 on 11/2/2006 9:24:06 AM
"The space shuttle Challenger had disintegrated 73 seconds into launch"

TOO SOON!
Comment made about Article: Remember the Romance of '86 on 11/2/2006 9:23:41 AM
I really underestimated your age
Comment made about BlogPost: "Lord, what fools these mortals be!" on 10/31/2006 8:14:39 AM
As soon as I find out your real name, expect a restraining order posthaste.
Comment made about Link: 24 Trailer on 10/26/2006 2:06:59 PM
wow, a hirsute jack bauer. my tv screen is going to get *pretty* steamy.
Comment made about Article: The Wonders of Communication on 10/26/2006 1:12:42 PM
if it can't be said with clever use of italics, careful capitalization, and ellipses, its not really worth saying.
Comment made about Article: The Wonders of Communication on 10/25/2006 1:23:32 PM
"I have a lot of family from outside the country"

Consider President Bush's interest piqued.
Comment made about Article: The Wonders of Communication on 10/25/2006 1:21:08 PM
I better not find out Stootsi owns stock in Skype.
Comment made about BlogPost: You know what's awesome? on 10/20/2006 11:33:21 AM
Kerry is running again?
Comment made about BlogPost: You know what's awesome? on 10/20/2006 11:10:20 AM
Let me guess, you're still going to vote, right?
Comment made about BlogPost: I Love Cold Mornings on 10/20/2006 8:59:33 AM
i'm beginning to think *you're* a sarcastic title
Comment made about Link: Like shooting crackers in a barrel on 10/19/2006 12:53:10 PM
well, your son wasn't responsible for an affront to humanity like 'Down to Earth'
Comment made about Article: Bobbleheads on 10/19/2006 12:49:13 PM
I'd like a Kevin McClatchy bobblehead so that i can ask it questions like:

Do you want this overpriced outfielder on the decline?
Can you really make money with a team that gives up in May?
You get a sick pleasure from forcing taxpayers to pay for your profits, right?
Comment made about Article: The Office on 10/12/2006 12:03:37 PM
thats one great effing ritual, coryj
Comment made about Article: Xbox 360 Sucks on 10/12/2006 12:02:28 PM
I literally cannot be beat an Tecmo Super Bowl, its scientific theory ratified into law within the past year.
Comment made about Article: Xbox 360 Sucks on 10/12/2006 11:57:54 AM
"All it took was a blow and a little jiggle and you were gaming in no time."

I'm starting to wonder if you and I have vastly different definition of gaming.
....
And whether I should strongly consider adopting yours.
Comment made about BlogPost: Old Navy Customers are the Greatest on 10/12/2006 11:56:16 AM
Did the whole thing have an exaggerated campy feel to it? Was Morgan Fairchild inexplicably present (alive)? Can't wait to see you and your son on the next Gilmore Girls commercial break.
Comment made about BlogPost: Voice mails and study sessions on 10/11/2006 1:33:52 PM
I thought organic chemistry was a largely female major.
Comment made about BlogPost: My Son's First Shots on 10/10/2006 8:15:33 AM
Scratch coryj's name off the potential babysitter list...

and add it to the first birthday party invitation list
Comment made about BlogPost: Have you ever seen a blog where the title is longer than the actual blog? Here you go! on 10/9/2006 9:39:43 AM
Herbert, you just set me free
Comment made about BlogPost: Stootsi Contest #3 Winners (and Losers) and Comments on 10/9/2006 9:28:30 AM
spoken like a true viking, coryj
Comment made about BlogPost: Popcorn is for Suckers on 10/9/2006 9:26:39 AM
i can set you up on a night with a real woman for under $19, text me if interested
Comment made about Article: The Departed on 10/9/2006 9:24:04 AM
now, to read the rest of the sentences
Comment made about Article: The Departed on 10/9/2006 9:23:35 AM
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!
Comment made about BlogPost: Chandrasekhar limit: I think I'm cracking on 10/6/2006 9:22:35 AM
I'm confused, what exactly does good Thai food do?
Comment made about Article: We Have Met the Cyborgs, and They Are Us on 10/5/2006 4:16:07 PM
Frankly, I blame capitalism. Left unchecked it will always lead to a race of cyborgs. Marx saw this. Why can't America?
Comment made about BlogPost: My Son's First Shots on 10/5/2006 12:15:53 PM
re-read the above post by replacing the following words/references and picturing it in president bush's diary:

son = citizens
doctors appointment = election
shots = terror threats
mom and dad = democracy
Comment made about BlogPost: My Son's First Shots on 10/5/2006 12:12:02 PM
all reasons why I shun completely the medical community
Comment made about Link: New York always goes to straight to my hips on 10/2/2006 1:59:47 PM
With the government watching tv for me, eating for me, and listening in on my conversations; I'm never going to die.
Comment made about Link: Cops and Pot on 10/2/2006 10:37:52 AM
more dead links. if i wanted to spend time on the internet learning nothing i'd be reading wikipedia right now.
Comment made about Link: Insult to Injury on 10/2/2006 10:34:04 AM
uh, link is dead
Comment made about BlogPost: Finger Lickin Good on 9/30/2006 11:42:34 AM
"not the double-bone part"
"Too much work for too little meat."
"What’s with leaving half of the meat still on the bone?"
"it kosher for your buddy to pick it up and finish it?"

thats what she said?
Comment made about BlogPost: Finger Lickin Good on 9/30/2006 11:39:36 AM
these ends of the world are making. me. thirsty.
Comment made about BlogPost: Back in the Day on 9/30/2006 10:10:26 AM
However, high school girls are impressed by a job and a car.
And I have both.
Comment made about Article: There's Nothing Worse than a Self-Hating Hitler on 9/30/2006 10:07:52 AM
there was someone on the screen other than casper van dien?
Comment made about Article: There's Nothing Worse than a Self-Hating Hitler on 9/29/2006 3:04:14 PM
epic film "Starship Troopers"
-------------------------------

more like SepTic!
Home: Stootsi Store: Page 2: My Stootsi
About Stootsi: Contact Us: Privacy Policy: Sell.Stootsi FAQ
© 2009 Stootsi.com All rights reserved.